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And so it was that I found myself agreeing to an alternative approach — being put on the menu at a dating cafe and having my actual face replicated on the top of free coffees. Why should you give a crap?

If you can stand drinking my face, that is. When I went down to see how I was selling well, being given away I got chatting to fellow foam head Chloe Steuer, a year-old from Putney.

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Why the hell was she doing this? Match dating expert Vicki Burtt said: Follow Metro. The Fix The daily lifestyle email from Metro.

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